Wild Horses July 24, 2008

Blubbo tried to fart but shit his pants. “And over here, are the stables,” a colonially dressed women with a name tag said. “Oh my God, it smells disgusting,” Rachel Walker exclaimed. “Well we actually keep horses here,” the colonial women responded. Blubbo looked for an escape route. It would not be long before his [...]

The Slip July 22, 2008

Blubbo still wore white cotton briefs. This made it especially challenging to change for gym without being ridiculed. As a solution, Blubbo would arrive to gym late so that he would not be seen by the other boys in his grade. One day, while folding his South Pole jeans, Blubbo overheard hushed voices coming from [...]

Heads Up July 10, 2008

Every day after school Blubbo would eat a bagel and a bag of popcorn and watch Hey Dude. After Hey Dude at three, came Rocko’s Modern Life then Rugrats. Usually after not eating his dinner, Blubbo retreated to his room and played video games. He was partial to Duke Nukem 3D and Warcraft II: The [...]

The Morning Air July 9, 2008

Blubbo went to Filene’s Basement to buy some new clothes. The morning air was starting to get cold and Blubbo knew that his days of Champion mesh shorts and Reebok t-shirts were numbered. Based on his observations over the past several weeks, it was clear that Blubbo’s fashion sense was far behind that of his [...]

Step By Step June 16, 2008

One day, Blubbo stopped at McDonald’s on his way home from school to get a Big Mac. As he was ordering, he heard Tyler Brougham call his name. “Hey Blubbo, I don’t think you need any more Big Macs,” Tyler Brougham said. “Your mom is all the Big Mac you need,” said another one of [...]

The Fog of War June 13, 2008

One day in Science class, Blubbo was asked the difference between poor metals and non-metals. As he was about to answer, the fire alarm sounded and everyone filed outside. Halfway out the door, Blubbo realized that he left one of his Warcraft II campaign maps in plain site atop his desk. The past two weeks [...]

Tables Up June 12, 2008

Blubbo bought a Semisonic CD and took it to school to listen to at lunch. Music was a close second to Blubbo next to playing Duke Nukem 3D with the lights off. Though he was not cool enough to listen to Rage Against the Machine or Smashing Pumpkins at the time, Blubbo always took a [...]

Attention Starved June 11, 2008

The time was 11:35 and Blubbo had a turbo boner in his social studies class. Mr. Roberts rides his bike to school because he got two DUI’s in a row. This isn’t what was giving Blubbo a boner, but it was a random thought he had as he tried to get his hard-on to reduce [...]

A Foot in the Water June 10, 2008

Blubbo has bitch-tits and a bowl cut and it was his first day of 7th grade. Coming from a Catholic school, Blubbo was unaware of the differences between Holy Trinity Elementary and Greenfield Public Middle. This was perhaps best illustrated by his choice of first day attire: a B.U.M. Equipment shirt, black jean shorts, large [...]